That was one hectic morning during college final year. It was the last due date to get the record notes signed by professors. To say procrastination was not the only reason that my records weren’t signed until the last date, but, I had an awesome bunch of girls. We were cool, random, silly, daring, wired and of course, studious who owned the first bench; but lived a life beyond what backbenchers could imagine. We were individual well-mannered and well-behaved kids, but when we were together the craziness was unbounded and absolutely we didn’t care about others around and that was the reason why the entire class hated us! But that neither bothered nor hindered us. We lived a thousand years and beyond within those 4 years.
So on that day, we were busy preparing our record notebooks until the professor called the class for a sign. Before that, it’s mandatory to get a closure sign from the lab assistant. So all were standing in a long queue to get a sign from the lab assistant. The queue was moving slowly and we were chit-chatting without wasting a second. After almost an hour our turn came up but my bad; lunchtime was and the lab assistant asked to come post-lunch. We were murmuring way back to class and filled our tummy.
Then after lunch when we ganged up and went to her place and saw another long queue; the queue was hitting outside her room this time. With an annoyed face, we were standing the queue and continued our never-ending stories. Again our turn came; She stood up and “Go to your class students, I’ve some other work to complete”. You should’ve seen our faces, drop-dead.
Again an announcement in the class saying that the lab assistant is available to sign. This time rushed up to her room. She gave a strange look and asked us to stand aside. She signed every other student and we were standing behind her clueless. She used to be nice to us and additionally we were class toppers and not even a single professor treated us that way. Now we understood that in the past instances she purposely avoided us. The clock was ticking; We also needed HOD’s sign after her sign to attend the next day’s laboratory exam. We were perplexed and speechlessly standing there.
The entire class got signs from her, then she turned towards us. And started to talk, to say, her face was totally different. She took two lab classes for us. She was scolding us randomly recollecting whatever we did mischievously. Suddenly her view was on me and told about my ATTITUDE, no one ever spoke about my attitude before. She said that “Your attitude is not going to take you anywhere; Attitude is the important factor for any job, though you’ve got decent grades you won’t get any job. You’re going to suffer in your life for your attitude”. I was totally dumbstruck. My bestie asked immediately “what did she do”. She told us we don’t deserve an explanation. Then she signed the record and after 6 PM, we got a HOD sign and left college.
All throughout the 1 hour trip to my house, her words were pounding on my head. I can’t stop thinking. My friends and family were trying to console me but those words were inevitable and it was always resonating in my mind. With that semester for some reason, my college filled her position with someone else and removed her. I never spoke with her before but her words were so strong and at one point I started thinking “maybe she has some point”.Soon I got a job and I started to work but still, the words are inside me.
After years, I saw her on Facebook and gave a request. Seeing her profile I got to know after that she wasn’t employed till then. I concluded to myself that her outrageous words were the outcome of hate. For no particular reason, she hated me and poured out words. That costs nothing to her, but I lived with a bundle of insecurities, hesitations, and guilt for no reason. It took years for me to forgive myself and move on from her words. As a teacher, she has a lot of responsibility but she preferred to sow these poisonous thoughts. If a kid’s behavior was offendable, a great teacher would correct the teenage kid by advising or punishing.
It took me less than 6 months to prove her wrong by getting into a job but took years to nullify her words. Today I don’t even doubt a single cell in me. I’m a self-made damsel and I adore me! I embrace me!!